Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Rate the Doomsday Scenarios II

Christ I hate this template. But the last one wasn't working out, and I didn't have the time to browse for a better one today. Anyway, onward with the doomsday scenarios. Let's get this one out of the way...
Scenario: Alien Invasion

Overview: The question of whether or not there is other life in the universe has been answered. In spades. Their giant, 15 mile-wide metallic emissaries of death are perched above every major city on the planet just waiting for the word from the mother ship to unleash fiery death upon humanity. And all the puppies, too! Checkmate.

Pros: Justification of the SETI program.

Cons: Anal probes.

Reality Check: Stop with the nonsense. If an advanced civilization somehow manages to make it to earth, it ain't gonna be with giant mother ships made of anything remotely resembling metal. Forget the impossible physics behind it, it's just so hack. No, sorry, there isn't going to be any dog fighting between advanced alien ships and drunken cropdusters. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you, "Independence Day." The only way that movie would be plausible is if it is revealed that the aliens are actually a bunch of rebellious alien junior-high school kids who took grampa's old clunker out for an unsupervised joyride and ended up in our neck of the woods.

Can we stop it: No. If they come, that means they didn't destroy each other in their early industrial period. If they're still assholes despite having achieved such a high technological state, I'm sure they would have a little switch that would simply turn our brains off. Assholes.

Rating: 1/10. NaNu NaNu.


  1. I've never been able to believe in aliens, even when Star Wars made me really want to.

  2. I figure there are people on other planets or dimensions.

  3. Jordan - believe! because Charlene figures correctly. Forget about all of the dimensions that quantum mechanics hypothesizes, In our universe alone, the amount of galaxies and stars that exist almost assuredly guarantee statistically that life exists elsewhere. There have been over 500 possible extra-solar planets identified, and that is just in our neck of the woods. It's as if we've only explored one single grain of sand on Earth. The numbers are almost impossible to comprehend.