Marco! Polo!

As the longest game of whack-a-mole in history drags on, a kinder, gentler Osama bin Laden has popped up his furry head long enough to release a new audiotape. From the Daily Telegraph...

"A voice purporting to be that of the al-Qaeda leader calls for the creation of a new relief body to aid Muslims."

From jihad to the Red Cross...Say what you want, he's got range...

"It was the third message in recent weeks from al-Qaeda figures concerning the massive August floods that displaced 8 million people in Pakistan, signalling a concentrated campaign by the terror group to exploit public discontent and present itself as protectors of the poor."

I knew there was a catch!

"'What governments spend on relief work is secondary to what it spends on its armies,' bin Laden says on the 11-minute tape called, 'Reflections on the Method of Relief Work.'"

Available soon on i-Tunes...

"Bin Laden said a new 'well-funded' relief organization should be created to study Muslim regions near bodies of water to prevent future flooding, to create development projects in impoverished regions and to work on farming and agriculture to guarantee food security."

As long as this funding does not interfere with the funding for strapping bombs to kids and having them run into mosques. Where Muslims are.

"He called on Muslim merchants to direct their resources to cultivating agricultural land in countries like Sudan that aren't used for farming."

Oh that's nice. This just in...still subjugating and denying basic rights to women.